


Dean Winchester Hates Lawyer Talk

by Englandwouldfall



Series: Misunderstandings and stuff [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, Just they're still working it out really, Lawyer Sam Winchester, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, the apocalypse is a court case, yeah idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 07:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1889667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Englandwouldfall/pseuds/Englandwouldfall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe they've finally ironed out that major miscommunication about his car... but apparently there's lots of scope for misunderstandings within relationships (if that's what they're doing?)</p><p>And if everyone could tone down the legal-speak and talk in actual <em> English </em> then maybe Dean Winchester could finally catch a break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean Winchester Hates Lawyer Talk

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of people asked for this... and I'd already written a little bit of this and had to cut it out from the last one as it didn't add anything to the plot. So, fair warning, I actually have no idea where this is going right this second... I'll work it out. 
> 
> So, here be a sequel!

Let it be known that Dean Winchester did not sign up for this. 

Obviously, he knew Cas and Gabe were kind of famous… but as far as he was concerned that was in virtue of their last name rather than in and of themselves. The kind of famous that lead to a raised eyebrow if you gave your name, but otherwise went unnoticed. In Dean’s head, the only reason why anyone would pause at Cas’ appearance was because he was frigging hot, not because he was a Novak. And that _probably_ would have been true, if Cas hadn’t listened to the ‘so quit’ mantra he’d been spouting since day one and went and became a business douche. Sam had sent him the links to a whole series of articles about Cas that had cropped up on the internet (usually in the business and finance sections) with a smarmy looking emoticon that had made him turn off his phone and roll his eyes towards the ceiling. God damn little brothers. 

Dean likes to think he’s putting up with it as much as Cas is, because… well, surely he can’t _like_ being stuck in a stuffy office filing paperwork all frigging day? It, at least, can’t be that much better than Purgatory? And Cas had seem willing enough to stay there and torture himself for however long it was. 

Cas’ PA (seriously? The guy has a PA now?) gives him the usual suspicious look as he heads towards Cas’ office with lunch. He thinks she’s about to object, tell him Cas is too busy to see him or something, so he winks in the most obnoxious way possible. Rachel’s mouth recedes into a frown, and she stays silent. 

This new commute to go see his god damn... well, to see Cas? Shitty. It’s the side of town he’d rather avoid; fancy offices and hotels and a whole load of rich douchebags looking down at his jeans. Apparently Gabriel had offices here the whole time, but avoids them as much as possible. Seems plausible. It’s not like he can mentally place Gabe here either. 

Except – 

“Gabriel,” Dean huffs, as he opens the door and see’s Cas’ brother sitting on Cas’ desk with a bag of doughnuts. His own brother is inexplicably here, too, half buried under a mound of paperwork about something undoubtedly boring. 

“Deano!” Gabriel beams, “Haven’t seen you since you ran out on my corporate dinner. Balk at the price of beer, did you Dean?” 

He might have been avoiding Gabriel since then because, Jesus, Gabriel was sure to find the whole thing far too funny. He’s been fobbing off Sam too, just because his shit-eating grin is too much. He doesn’t mind mocking Cas for the colossal fuck up that is their lives, but when other people get involved… well. Anyway, he’s basically been avoiding everything but Cas’ apartment and Cas in general, even when it involves taking the elevator up to the penthouse of some stupid office blocks. 

“Hello, Dean,” Cas says, looking up from his computer and offering him one of those half smiles. 

“Bought lunch,” Dean grunts, “Wasn’t expecting these clowns.” 

“Wanna doughnut?” 

“No. I should probably get back to the garage.” 

“Don’t let us interrupt date night,” Sam says, mouth stretched into a line that Dean knows means he’s trying very hard not to smile, or laugh. Great. “We’ll be done in ten.” 

“Gabriel asked me to read over Sam’s legal documents,” Cas supplies. 

“Cassie’s a bit of a genius when it comes to the paperwork,” Gabriel says, “No offence, Sam, but I gotta have my best guy double checking.” 

“It will be more like twenty minutes,” Cas says, weighing the document up in his hand and frowning. His lips purse as he turns the first sheet of paper over, beginning to read. He’d forgotten about the way Cas’ forehead creased together when he’s concentrating, and Dean winds up having to drag his gaze away and back towards Gabe. Who’s grinning at him. Whatever. Douchebag. 

“This is very good, Sam,” Cas says, not looking up. His shoulders are slightly tense, though, so Dean kinda figures that Gabriel’s presence isn’t exactly welcome in Cas’ new office either. Well. Figures. 

“Damn right,” Dean says, “my brother’s a genius. Want me to hang around, Cas?” 

Cas gives him a _save me from my brother_ look that Dean’s just not cut out to refuse, so he winds up casting his gaze towards the ceiling and pulling up a seat. The room isn’t really built for three grown ass men and a short dude to set up shop in, but it could be worse. Dean wordlessly holds a hand out for a doughnut. 

“Haven’t seen you much recently,” Sam says, lightly. 

“That’s funny, Sam,” Gabe returns, setting down the doughnuts, “my brother’s disappeared too!” 

“Yeah, hilarious,” 

“Thought you might be elbow deep in some car –“ Sam says, lips twitching, “ – but Bobby said you’ve barely been at work, compared to usual.” 

“I think _Castiel_ might have had some car trouble,” 

“You rehearse that? Nice tag team you’ve got going there, douchebags.” 

Sam’s already laughing harder than Dean’s seen him since they had that prank war back when they were still hunting for Dad. Dean leans back against the wall and tries to remain irritated, but Sammy laughing has always been a weak spot… and it’s not like he hasn’t been going to _town_ with the car jokes. 

“So what was it, quick oil change and a tune up? Or a more permanent problem?” 

“That your only knowledge of cars, Gabe?” Dean quips back, eyes still fixed on the ceiling. “It’s the gears; he’d damn near worn them out by riding them too hard.” 

“Traitor,” Cas mutters, without looking up from the stack of paperwork. 

“You guys have come so far. It’s beautiful.” Gabe says, wiping a mock tear from his eye, “Seems like only yesterday that Cassie was a closet case and Dean had a long term girlfriend, and now…” 

“This needs changing,” Cas interrupts, handing the stack of files back to Sam with a bunch of meticulously written notes in the margins. 

“Cassie, I also have another doc for you to take a look at. Fresh out of Michael’s office…” 

“I thought the grand plan was to sue Lucifer to corporate death,” Dean says. Given that Cas’ brothers is such a sensitive topic in their relationship, Dean’s doing his best not to be a dick about things. Apparently that involves pretending to care about law suits and not undermining their importance, or whatever. This talk of bringing down Michael is news to him. He’d known it was on the agenda but… not quite so far up the agenda. 

“Michael’s a dick,” Gabriel says, as if that explains anything, “At least Lucifer got the charisma.” 

“This is one of my contracts,” Castiel says, his expression of concentration crossing over to complete misery. Maybe Dean doesn’t know much about Cas’ experience working for Michael, but he does know that he thought getting shot at was a preferable option. 

“An updated version?” 

“Yes,” Cas affirms, “The primary problem is the loopholes in the pension and health care schemes. Whilst I was there, eighty percent of those who didn’t qualify for either were unaware until it was too late. It isn’t illegal, just highly immoral.” 

“Difficult to sue, then,” Gabe says. 

“Would it possible to pull a publicity stunt?” 

“Going to the presses,” Gabriel considers, “I like it.” 

“You’d uh… need an informant,” Sam says, looking up from his important, “You ready to blow the whistle, Cas?” 

“No,” Gabriel counters, “Cassie stays out of the media circus.” 

He doesn’t really like the idea of Cas being thrown back into the presses. Dean’s never really paid much attention to the whole Novak saga that’s been selling newspapers for decades, but its public knowledge enough that he knows the vague details. 

“Don’t try to protect me, Gabriel.” 

“They’ll crucify you,” Gabriel says, voice dangerous, “You’ve kept the dishonourable discharge out of the spotlight for almost a year, don’t push it. Let alone that stunt you pulled with that crazy woman who didn’t know who the hell you were…” 

Dean finds himself pulled towards the conversation despite himself, because he’s been itching to fill in these gaps of his knowledge of Cas. And this is the first he’s ever heard of this. 

“Daphne was not crazy.” 

“And did you call her after I dragged you away from that Gas n’ Sip?” Gabriel demands, “Let her know you weren’t coming home? If you think she won’t sell you out for ten minutes of fame then you’re crazy,” Gabriel says, “Especially when, as far as I can work out, you don’t even _like_ women.” 

“That is not of import.” Cas is bristling which isn’t really surprising because, damn, there’s a lot of accusations and tension in the room right now. Dean glances towards his brother. Sam’s given up on changing whatever it was Cas wanted him to change on whatever legal document it happened to be and is just openly staring at the argument. 

Dean swallows. 

“You say that now,” Gabriel says, “But you’ll change the track when it’s on the front page of the New York Post. I know you, Castiel. I bought you up.” 

“You ran away from home when I was eleven,” Cast corrects, eyes flashing, “My reputation is not important. However, it wouldn’t work. I am not a credible source. The discharge from the army is enough to make it seem as though I’m seeking revenge on Michael, and undermines anything I have to say on the matter. Particularly given my previous position at Purgatory,” Sam is giving him a blank look, as though he hasn’t caught up with him yet. “We are a famously religious family, Sam. I worked at a gay bar. It will still appear as though Michael and I had a disagreement about my homosexuality, which led to me quitting his job and running to the army.” 

Dean kind of wants to point out that, beyond the gay bar thing, the amount of gay sex that's been going down in Cas' apartment is probably a bigger factor in putting Cas in the 'gay' category, but... 

“Not… necessarily a bad thing,” Sam says, slowly, “Opinion is changing. Maybe homophobic is another thing we can throw at him?” 

“I don’t like it,” Dean puts in. It sounds like throwing Cas to a pack of wild dogs and letting them sink their teeth in. God knows what the business with Daphne was (although he’s totally asking about that later)… but, clearly, Cas doesn’t want to talk about it. And Cas doesn’t need a bunch of homophobic douche bags gunning for him either. 

Or them, he supposes. Maybe. If Cas even thinks of them like that. 

“So we need someone else,” Gabriel says, pressing his fingers to his forehead, “Balthazar?” 

“I don’t think he’s on anyone’s side in particular.” 

“He’s on your side,” Gabriel says, raising an eyebrow, “Jumped ship back to England less than a month after you quit.” 

“Gabriel,” Castiel grates out, voice tight, “Any relationship you have fabricated between Balthazar and myself is entirely a product of your over-active imagination.” 

“Knew that guy was sleazy,” Dean says. 

“Dean, you said you liked him.” 

“In comparison to everyone else in that joint, maybe, but –” 

“– Dean’s jealousy aside,” Sam says, “Balthazar?” 

“I could call him,” Castiel says, “He would probably answer. He doubtlessly left Michael’s company with more assets than he was strictly supposed to, but I suspect that will be impossible to prove.” 

“More money than the bros,” Gabriel considers, nodding, “can pay more people off.” 

“And what’s this guy’s motivation?” Dean asks, because he’s got conversational whiplash and Balthadouche sounds like more of a dick as the conversation goes on. Dean can’t believe he spent twenty minutes willingly engaging in a conversation with Cas’ ex (probably). 

“Balthazar loves a pissing match as much as the next guy,” Gabriel says, “Reckon I could get him to work for me, Cassie?” 

“I doubt you have the capital to write his pay-check.” 

“So another rich douche bag?” 

“He’s well liked,” Gabriel says, “and hot.” 

Castiel sends him a withering look. 

“He doesn’t have any special knowledge of drawing up contracts, however,” Castiel says, “we could… there’s another option.” 

“Oh,” Gabriel says, frowning, “that douchebag.” 

“Crowley.” 

“That English Prick who tried to buy my car?” Dean demands, “No fucking way.” 

“I feel dirty already,” Gabriel complains, “You were in cahoots with him too, Cassie, will he take your call?” 

“You worked with that guy?” Dean demands. 

“I doubt it,” Castiel frowns, “I screwed him over in order to quit. Still, his motivations are simple… he is merely interested in the best deal.” 

“And do I have the capital to give him the best offer?” 

“I compromised his position when I left. I doubt he’s been able to recover his previous esteem, but he is very good at what he does.” 

“It’s not enough,” Gabriel says, folding his fingers together, “We need someone more involved, or else it’s just another dry business story. Hate to say it, Cassie, but we need the family angle. I think we need you, credibility aside.” 

“What?” Dean asks, “I thought we wrote that off five minutes ago. What happened to not crucifying Cas?” 

“We can call into question Michael’s credibility, too,” Gabriel continues, ignoring him, “he won’t be expecting it. If we could get someone to talk about the discharge… you made any friends in the army? Of course you didn’t, you antisocial dick. Well, I can pay off Daphne at any rate… if we have any good luck, Michael doesn’t know a damn thing about that disaster. Maybe… maybe it’s doable. Sam?” 

“It’s…. possible.” Sam casts him a worried look, before looking away quickly when Dean met his gaze with a frown. 

“I think we need you back in the game properly, Castiel,” Gabriel says, half slouching at his desk but giving him a look which is all seriousness. “Quit screwing around and suit up, bro, you’re off the bench.” 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Cas asks, icily. Cas getting all authoritative and angry does things to Dean, but it’s difficult to sit back and enjoy the view when he can _feel_ Cas’ distress from over the other side of the room. “I worked in Purgatory as you asked, Gabriel –” 

“You were supposed to quit,” Gabriel says, rolling his eyes. 

“– and I returned to this office at your request. You had ten years ‘on the bench.’ Why is it that I only get a year?” 

“It’s a tough world,” Gabriel says, shrugging. “You still looking for that penance, Cassie? This is your chance.” 

Castiel stands up, lips twisting into misery. He and Gabe stare each other down for a few minutes. 

“Fine,” Cas says, pulling his phone out of his pocket and stepping towards that door. 

“Nice one, douchebag,” Dean says, standing up, “Why don’t you just bring up every mistake the guys ever made and then bully him into working for you, huh? The hell do you get off, Gabriel.” 

“At the victory stop, Deano,” Gabriel says, “this isn’t about your boyfriend’s morality crisis, there’s a bigger picture here.” 

“He’s your brother,” Dean snaps back, “In my book that means something.” 

“I have a lot of brothers,” Gabriel says, “I’m suing one of them and publically disgracing the other. If Cassie wants the kid gloves, maybe he should have stayed at the Gas n’ Sip. Another doughnut?” 

“Shove your doughnut where the sun don’t shine.” ” 

“I’ll take that as a no,” 

“Fuck off, Gabe,” Dean retorts, “And get out." 

It’s then, of course, that Dean gets a phone call from Bobby. It’s all ‘where are you, y’idjit?’ and something about a classic Mercedes that Dean _does_ really want to get his hands on and Bobby busting his ass about taking too long in his lunch break for the third time his week and, if you really have to run off to see your boyfriend, then you can show me some damn respect and introduce us. Awesome. 

He doesn’t want to leave when Cas is clearly upset, but then he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do about it, either. It doesn’t look like Gabriel is about to leave and, anyway, he doesn’t understand most of this business talk. He’s listened to Cas on the phone to Gabriel for thirty minutes and only understood the greetings, the goodbye and the vague mention of ‘profits’ somewhere in the middle. 

He’s completely unqualified to deal with this. 

“You’ve got to go,” Sam puts in, reading Dean as easily as only Sam can. 

“Yeah,” Dean says, shoving his hands in his pocket. It was stupid to spend forty minutes of his hour long lunch break driving anyway but… well. They didn't do anything yesterday, even though Dean spent the whole time thinking maybe he should just text Cas and ask him to come over... and he was wondering whether maybe Cas had done the same thing, and he didn't want a repeat night in his apartment because _then_ he'd be forced to actually clean up. 

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Gabe says, eyeing up the bag which contains the lunch Dean picked up for Cas on the way, 

“We’ve got things covered here.” 

“Sam,” Dean says, face twisting. 

“I’ve got it,” Sam returns, nodding. 

He’s hoping to run into Cas in the foyer but… no dice. Rachel gives him a sarcastic wave goodbye (and she totally knew about the brother situation, of course she did; and it only serves him right for being a dick) and Dean returns to work feeling like he wants to hit something. 

Mostly, Gabriel. 

Dean Winchester did not sign up for this shit. 

(He gets a couple of texts from Cas over an hour later, the first saying _Gabriel ate my lunch_ and the second reading _nevertheless, thank you for bringing me lunch_ so he figures Cas is just about okay).


End file.
